Wintergirls - Zoe Letting Go

 Laurie Halse Anderson -- Nora Price

"I took the knife out of my pocket and cut my palm, just a little. 'I swear to be the skinniest girl in school, skinnier than you.' 
Cassie's eyes got big as the blood pooled in my hand. She grabbed the knife and slashed her palm. 'I bet I'll be skinnier than you.'
'No, don't make it a bet. Let's be skinniest together.'
'Okay, but I'll be skinnier.'"

When we first meet Lia, she has just found out that her ex-best friend, Cassie, has been found alone, in a motel room - dead. The two hadn't spoken in months - not since Lia had been released from her second failed stay at a treatment center and Cassie's parents had forced her to seek help too. Cassie blamed Lia for all of her problems, for her failing grades and disintegrating body - Lia, Cassie claimed, was "a negative influence, a toxic shadow." Before this, the two had been inseparable - best friends for years, they did everything together. They even made a pact to be the skinniest girls in school together. But as their pact developed into full-blown disorders, and these disorders were no longer under their control, everything fell apart. Now that Cassie is dead, Lia is left alone to wonder why Cassie called her the night she died and why Cassie seems to be visiting her when all Lia wants to do is forget. But time is running short - Lia's disorder is growing stronger as time passes, and she may be closer to Cassie than she realizes.


One day during the summer before her junior year of high school, Zoe is awakened by her mother early in the morning and told to pack a suitcase with enough clothing to last six weeks. She soon finds herself in the passenger seat of her mother's car, their destination unknown. In no time at all, she is abandoned at a huge mansion in the middle of nowhere with five  "hollow," "frail,"and "twiglike creatures" - or girls suffering from the eating disorder anorexia. Zoe is admitted to this 36-day long recovery program at Twin Birch - but what she doesn't understand is why. Zoe says she's not sick; that she's not thin enough to be there; that she's perfectly fine. Through a combination of journal entries and letters to her best friend at home, Elise, we follow Zoe's time spent at Twin Birch. But after weeks of not hearing back from Elise, Zoe feels more alone than ever.

The most obvious issue that's brought up in both of these books is eating disorders.
Eating disorders are complicated mental disorders. People don't really talk about them in the "real world;" the most you'll hear about eating disorders during a normal day is if someone is making some sort of sick joke.
This stems from ignorance, or just simply being unaware. People assume that eating disorders are just extreme diets, all about losing weight, all about deciding to destroy your body. Choosing to "try to lose weight" that way. But they're not. Not really.

Last year, I wrote a paper where I tried to "identify contributing factors in the causation of eating disorders;" I interviewed a bunch of girls who were sick and read a bunch of medical books that were hard to understand - and I was eventually left with no concrete answer. No one really knows why these things happen - some girls blamed it on abuse as a child, the media, peer pressure, wanting to belong, wanting to feel like she had control over just one aspect of her life.
Every case is different and equally as serious.

Because Wintergirls is written in the first person from the perspective of Lia, and because Zoe Letting Go is written in half journal (similar to Go Ask Alice, only more poetic) / half letter format, we, as readers, get insight into the minds of girls inflicted with eating disorders. We see their extreme self-hatred - their daily, hourly, minutely obsession with food, exercise, control - especially in Lia's case. Lia is in deep, while Zoe is mostly in denial.
The point is - there is nothing beautiful about struggling with an eating disorder.

Eating disorders are serious mental diseases. They're easy to hide, easy to make up excuses for if the person wants to. And someone with an eating disorder might not necessarily be stick-thin. It's hard to tell sometimes, but if you think you or someone you know might be sick, please tell someone.
Before it's too late.

I think it's equally important to mention that these two stories point out the influence our friends can have over us - for good and bad. I think that's something that we can all relate to, whether or not we've dealt with eating disorders personally.
Lia and Cassie's relationship was clearly co-destructive, and Cassie refused to acknowledge it until it was too late for her. Zoe and Elise's relationship was co-destructive too, but since Zoe is in treatment and can't talk directly to Elise anymore, it takes on a different level.
Either way, both pairs of girls "fell into it" together.

Now - I know this might be a little extreme to use as an example. You're probably thinking, "Liz - do you think we're stupid? That we would do this to ourselves and someone we love?! No! You're an idiot!"
But hear me out -- Has anyone ever told you that "so-and-so isn't good for you?" Either a parent or teacher or another friend?

Amy Poehler's a cool cat. Did you know?

I'm not going to say they're right 100% of the time, but sometimes it's hard to tell that someone is bad for us when we're in the middle of it.
Sometimes, though, you just get these gut feelings about people. You know? Where you're just not... sure...?

Listen to Amy Poehler, "Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life the better. The minute anybody makes you feel weird and non-included or not supported, you know, either beat it or tell them to beat it."

You're worth it.