Alina Klein
"Rape is the only crime in which the victim has to prove her innocence." - Ms. Gimli, Rape Girl
That quote is horrible. And disgusting. And it makes me cringe.
But it's kind of true.
We've already touched on the topic of rape on this blog with Speak , but today's novel tackles the issue much more head-on.
On the very first page, we learn that 16-year-old Valerie has been raped. On a weekend when her mother was away, Valerie decided to have a party, inviting everyone in hopes that her crush, Adam, would show up. When he does, Valerie is already tipsy, and Adam just has her drink more. Near the end of the night, he pulls her into a room to be alone, but she vomits all over his shoes before anything can happen.
The next morning, Valerie is extremely hungover; she takes a nap on the couch, but when she wakes up, she finds herself completely naked . Adam had somehow gotten into the house and raped Valerie when she was sleeping and her little sister was playing outside in the snow.
When Valerie's mom comes home, they call the police together and an investigation begins.
The thing is, though - none of her peers believe that it was rape. Not even her best friend. They saw her at the party and said she was "more than willing" do to whatever Adam wanted. When Valerie finally goes back to school, insults are spit at her left and right, and she can't get through a day without being harassed.
Valerie's life becomes even more of a living hell as the investigation develops.
To be honest, this was one of toughest novels for me to read. It was a short read, only about 125 pages, but it was full of emotions that were hard for me to handle. I feel like most of the novels that I've read for this blog have made me sad or contemplative, more than anything -- this was the first one to rile up anger in me.
The idea that a woman is responsible for her rape, like some of Valerie's peers suggested, is absolutely ridiculous.
"No" means no. Hesitation means no. Unconsciousness means no. Anything short of "yes" means NO. If someone doesn't respect that - THEY are in the wrong. (not you)
You are not responsible for things that happen to you.
It's hard for me to talk about this topic because it's still something that I'm struggling with; I avoid talking about it in counseling sessions - I avoid talking about it at all, really. I want to help you guys with these things, but it's hard - so please bare with me if I make no sense.
My freshman year of college, I was sexually assaulted not once, but twice. The first time, I had just shared really personal information about my past, and I guess the guy thought doing so was an invitation into my pants.
The second time I've only told two people about and I'm not going to talk about it here because I will start crying on the keyboard.
I still blame myself for things. Even though people tell me over and over again it wasn't my fault, and I carry around this silly "It's not your fault" card, sometimes I don't believe it. Logically, I know that it wasn't my fault - that I can't control the actions of others - but sometimes I think it's just easier for me to blame myself than to face the anger and realize that I can't go back in time and stop it from happening.
If you've been through things like this - I think you know what I mean.
Sometimes I just feel like my life has been one cosmic joke.
When I was first trying to figure out what to write in this post, I hit a brick wall. Most of the time I felt like I was just being a hypocrite because I find it hard to take my own advice. But... I'm going to try, okay?
Please. Never allow anyone to tell you to "get over it." Never allow anyone to make you believe it was your fault. Never allow anyone to make you feel like you have to forgive the person who hurt you.
Never give up.
Don't let anyone to force you to talk about it if you're not ready.
But - I know it's hard - but if you can - speak out. You might prevent it from happening to someone else.
Above all - when you find support, cling to it. I promise, not all people in the world are shit. There are good people out there who will welcome you with open arms and help you feel safe again.
When you find those people, hang onto them. Okay?
You're worth it. You deserve to feel safe and in control of your life.
I love you.
Check out rainn.org for lots of information.
Or call 1.800.656.HOPE(4673) if you need/want a trained person to talk to.
But it's kind of true.
We've already touched on the topic of rape on this blog with Speak , but today's novel tackles the issue much more head-on.
On the very first page, we learn that 16-year-old Valerie has been raped. On a weekend when her mother was away, Valerie decided to have a party, inviting everyone in hopes that her crush, Adam, would show up. When he does, Valerie is already tipsy, and Adam just has her drink more. Near the end of the night, he pulls her into a room to be alone, but she vomits all over his shoes before anything can happen.The next morning, Valerie is extremely hungover; she takes a nap on the couch, but when she wakes up, she finds herself completely naked . Adam had somehow gotten into the house and raped Valerie when she was sleeping and her little sister was playing outside in the snow.
When Valerie's mom comes home, they call the police together and an investigation begins.
The thing is, though - none of her peers believe that it was rape. Not even her best friend. They saw her at the party and said she was "more than willing" do to whatever Adam wanted. When Valerie finally goes back to school, insults are spit at her left and right, and she can't get through a day without being harassed.
Valerie's life becomes even more of a living hell as the investigation develops.
To be honest, this was one of toughest novels for me to read. It was a short read, only about 125 pages, but it was full of emotions that were hard for me to handle. I feel like most of the novels that I've read for this blog have made me sad or contemplative, more than anything -- this was the first one to rile up anger in me.
The idea that a woman is responsible for her rape, like some of Valerie's peers suggested, is absolutely ridiculous.
"No" means no. Hesitation means no. Unconsciousness means no. Anything short of "yes" means NO. If someone doesn't respect that - THEY are in the wrong. (not you)
You are not responsible for things that happen to you.
It's hard for me to talk about this topic because it's still something that I'm struggling with; I avoid talking about it in counseling sessions - I avoid talking about it at all, really. I want to help you guys with these things, but it's hard - so please bare with me if I make no sense.
My freshman year of college, I was sexually assaulted not once, but twice. The first time, I had just shared really personal information about my past, and I guess the guy thought doing so was an invitation into my pants.The second time I've only told two people about and I'm not going to talk about it here because I will start crying on the keyboard.
I still blame myself for things. Even though people tell me over and over again it wasn't my fault, and I carry around this silly "It's not your fault" card, sometimes I don't believe it. Logically, I know that it wasn't my fault - that I can't control the actions of others - but sometimes I think it's just easier for me to blame myself than to face the anger and realize that I can't go back in time and stop it from happening.
If you've been through things like this - I think you know what I mean.
Sometimes I just feel like my life has been one cosmic joke.
When I was first trying to figure out what to write in this post, I hit a brick wall. Most of the time I felt like I was just being a hypocrite because I find it hard to take my own advice. But... I'm going to try, okay?
Please. Never allow anyone to tell you to "get over it." Never allow anyone to make you believe it was your fault. Never allow anyone to make you feel like you have to forgive the person who hurt you.
Never give up.
Don't let anyone to force you to talk about it if you're not ready.
But - I know it's hard - but if you can - speak out. You might prevent it from happening to someone else.
Above all - when you find support, cling to it. I promise, not all people in the world are shit. There are good people out there who will welcome you with open arms and help you feel safe again.
When you find those people, hang onto them. Okay?
You're worth it. You deserve to feel safe and in control of your life.
I love you.
Check out rainn.org for lots of information.
Or call 1.800.656.HOPE(4673) if you need/want a trained person to talk to.
(or leave a comment or send me a message if you want to talk to me or something?)
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