Everybody Sees the Ants

A.S. King

"Everybody Sees the Ants originated from an idea that we are all prisoners. An idea that bullying is a widely ignored form of torture. An idea that only we can choose to escape from our own prisons. An idea that no one can take something from us if we don't give it." - A.S. King

Bullying has popped up a lot in the media the past few years; “extreme” cases make the morning news and are the subjects of nighttime specials. This special attention makes parents and the general public think that those covered cases are rare and more extreme than usual, which is why they made the news in the first place. The fact of the matter is that bullying is a lot worse today than adults think. It is overrunning schools, despite efforts to talk about the issue. I remember in middle school they made us sit through movies and presentations all about bullying – entire days and weeks were devoted to "bullying prevention" - as if briefly talking about and putting up silly posters would make it all get better. If anything, I remember it just made things worse for kids like me. Bullies don't respond to interventions like this, because they aren't real interventions; bullies aren't being specifically called out and forced to see the impact their personal actions have on other human beings. They are pretty much given a pass for their behavior and continue on the next day as if nothing ever happened.

In Everybody Sees the Ants, we follow a teenage boy named Lucky (ironic, no?) who has been bullied mercilessly by one of his classmates since he was seven. The bullying has morphed over the years as they've aged - from name calling to physical beating - but the torture is something Lucky has come to accept as a permanent part of his life. He's tried to fight back after telling his parents and school officials, but they've all but written him off saying, “boys will be boys” or “it’s normal” or “I’m sure it’s not that bad.” So Lucky has no choice but to deal with it and find ways to cope; he does so by sleeping often, where he lives through elaborate dreams where he tries to save his Grandfather who went missing in action during the Vietnam War. Lucky stays in this dream world as long as possible because the real world is too much to deal with, and in doing so, the lines between fiction and reality become blurred. When we meet him, he and his mother are essentially fleeing from their problems - Lucky from his bully and his mother from her husband. They go to spend part of the summer with Lucky's uncle, where Lucky realizes that adults are just as (if not more) dysfunctional than kids. A whole bunch of other things happen while visiting the uncle which help to shape all of characters and lead them to life realizations, too (I'm vague on purpose - go read the book!).

I feel like when we're are young, we think adults have all the answers and have everything in general figured out. I know I did. But when serious issues like this are pushed to the side, it just makes us feel even more helpless and alone. In Lucky's case, his parents and school officials were scared to punish the bully because his father was a lawyer and they feared consequences. In my case, adults ignored it because, I assume, they thought it was too much of a hassle to deal with. What about in your case? If adults haven't tried to help, what was their excuse?
Because really - that's what it was - an excuse.

Sometimes adults don’t realize how their actions, no matter how small adults may think they are, can impact kids- especially in the case of bullying. I think it's advanced so much since their time that they don’t really have a clear idea as to what it’s really like. There's so many avenues that bullies can come at you from that there's no way to hide.

Listen: Anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself for being who you are is in the wrong.
You should NOT have to deal with being dehumanized and treated like crap, okay?

In not dealing with the problem, adults - parents, teachers, anyone - are perpetuating the cycle and contributing to it in ways all on their own. These people are supposed to be your advocates - they're supposed to be there for you.

Hold them accountable for their accountability to you.

You're worth it.

I know sometimes bullies can make you think that you're not worth much - but YOU ARE. You are worth the time and effort to make things better for yourself. I swear.

As Lucky's grandpa says in one of his dreams, "The world is full of assholes. What are you going to do to make sure you're not one of them?"
or rather -- what will you do to make sure those assholes don't win?
Don't give up; you're worth it.